Feeling down today?
There’s always a point when I realize I’m falling into my old habits. The moment it hit me, was when I got upset that I didn’t see that red exclamation mark over my text messages, even though I had just unlocked my phone for the 1000th time. In reality, I just hadn’t responded to anyone. I was yearning for someone to just reach out to me, and ask how I was doing, even though I had closed everyone out. Not only am I not responding to text or calls, I stopped responding to my needs. I stopped putting in the effort to cook or prep frozen fruit to make smoothies. Instead, I went downstairs, made a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, and went back to my bed. If it’s the weekend and I’m in this mood, I will probably neglect showering, yoga, and sunlight unless Kailee has to potty. It’s the worst feeling, but I do it to myself. To me, this is a MAJOR statement. “I do it to myself.” What a lot of us don’t realize is that we honestly, truly put a lot of this stress and sadness on ourselves. Harboring on the emotions all day, or allowing ourselves to drift into this space of “depression” because honestly, it feels good. It’s truly our comfy spot. Kailee, my sweet dog. When I get into my “dark hole” as I like to call it, she has been such a saving grace for me. She’s always there for me when I’m lonely and sad. I know that she can sense it and she’s always there to lick my tears away. A lot of times, I burst out into random tears and i usually just naturally let out a dramatic ass sigh, which is usually her cue to come comfort mommy. Unfortunately, as comforting as my baby is, she cant always be my saving grace. No one can, but me. No one but YOU.
What is a down day? A down day for me is when I drink water and go to sleep so my stomach will stop growling. It’s not responding to anyone, it’s a relationship with my bed and a remote, it’s me needing downtime, it’s me off my horse and scrambling to pick up the pieces faster this time around. For you a down day may be when you feel an episode of depression coming on. I personally, have taken that word out of my vocabulary and it has helped tremendously. It’s not the cure all, but it definitely creates a nice shift in your brain overtime when you allow yourself to feel your sadness and then let it go without judgement. Just remember, you’re sad today, but that’s just today. Remember all those times you thought you coudln’t go on but you fucking did? You can and will. You’re human and you’re allowed to feel all of your emotions. Don’t let someone tell you that you need a pill to control it. I was talking with one of my best friends reminiscing about how when we were in middle school/high school all the different guys we were “in love” with. Think about how many different girls/guys you’ve cried over. it’s almost pathetic lol.not even just boyfriends and girlfriends, but those life events that we have all experienced, those times we thought we wouldn’t be able to go on. i can’t even begin to list all the different times i’ve cried my little eyes out thinking i wasn’t strong enough to face tomorrow.
yet, every day you wake up
there is a new day.
a new chance.
a new experience.
a new outlook.
a new mood.
a new layer.
a new opportunity to right yesterdays wrongs.
a new peace.
a new reason to smile.
a day closer to healing.
it already happened.
you’re still breathing.
this is just one experience out of millions and millions.
it hurts but it’s not the end.
think about how much life you have lived and how much more life you have to go.
that many more days to be happy.
don’t worry, be happy.
20 tasks that you have to complete
before saying you’re fucking depressed:
brush your teeth
take a shower
wash your hair
clean up your room or house.
get off social media
go outside. feel the sun
stretch. if you can do more, do more
speak positive affirmations out loud
go on a date alone
read a book
eat fruit and drink tea
go read your goals, past journal entries, etc
journal, write, blog, or anything to release the feelings
go create, be creative
dance and sing
play with a dog, child, or friend
listen to your favorite, mood lifting playlist
If It’s still too hard. Send me a message. I love you.
peace & light,