Being Honest With Yourself.

"In order to heal, you have to keep it real." - Briana Aniysa

 

I’ve always been fairly self-aware. I’m not the one to deny my flaws. The problem is sometimes taking accountability. We have to honor the fact we have a foggy lens of ourself and we won't always see everything about us. Kind of how we get use to our own scent. I always try to hold space and listen to what others have to say about me. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

The real problem for me is fixing the habit & not getting down on myself about not being picture perfect & just like the movies. I always want to wake up the next day a brand new person. I get frustrated with myself and others if things don’t go the way that I envision it in my mind.  It took me years and years to finally come to terms with the fact that I had to really put in work and effort to change my old habits. I had to “fake the funk” (a saying my uncle likes a say) until things started to change naturally. I wouldn't allow myself to fix the exterior until the interior was in order. Meaning, I would look like complete crap on the outside until I didn't feel like complete crap on the inside. A RECIPE FOR A DISASTER.  

 

 

10 tips to kick a bad habit

    1. HONOR IT
      come to terms with the problem

    2. HAVE PATIENCE
      offer yourself more grace

    3. WORK FOR IT
      put in the work & real effort to reach your goal

    4. EXERCISE IT OUT
      stretch, yoga, meditate, dance, exercise, chant, sing

    5. THINK POSITIVE
      think positive. combat every negative thought with a positive or neutral one

    6. BREATHE THROUGH IT
      inhale for 4 seconds
      hold it for 7 seconds
      exhale for 5 seconds

    7. STAY PRESENT
      practice mindfulness

    8. JOURNAL IT
      journaling. jotting. writing. expressing yourself through it. document it. write yourself a mini "self help book" through it so you have your own how to make it through. 

    9. AFFIRM IT
      daily affirmations. its already happened. claim it!
      write it on a sticky note. say it daily.

    10. LOVE YOURSELF
      self love is the best love. put yourself first. love yourself more. love yourself through it. you deserve love and compassion from you.

 

Looking Inward...

Self Knowledge & Awareness is the first step to enlightenment.
How are you suppose to change your bad habits if you aren’t unaware of them?
How are you suppose to change your habits if you don't honor them?
How are you suppose to change your habits if you don't actively work for it?
How are you suppose to change your habits???

 

Bad Attitudes and Tempers
I mean every girl has one sometimes, right? I would raise my voice and respond without listening (I still tend to. I''m a work in progress) I understand now, that it’s so rude and unhealthy. My temper is something that needs constant managing. I always feel so much better when I am able to communicate my feelings calmly, without getting so worked up. I like being rational and thinking before I speak. I’ll probably have a break down in a few weeks…who knows, I’m not perfect. The positive part is, the good days are outweighing the bad, and it feels like growth. It is growth. Old me felt powerful being angry and showing how far I can take it. The new me, feels powerful walking away and finding/keeping my peace.

Coming to terms with my problem was indeed the first step. Practicing yoga, dancing more, loving me more, listening to soul healing affirmations, staying present, making the conscious effort not to judge others, and not stressing over things I can’t change. Let’s be real, a bad attitude is toxic. as. fuck. No one wants to be around someone who is always negative, unhappy and constantly bringing down the energy. I wasn’t the worst but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have room for improvement.

 

Being Pessimistic. Stop being a Negative Nancy! 
My mind would always think the worst in every situation. Sometimes my mind still does. It likes to go to the worst possible outcome first and sigh of relief later. I hated going out because I just KNEW someone could get shot or get in a car accident. What’s crazy is, I really thought that I was just being real and prepared for the worst. My mind ALWAYS went to the worst possible scenario. Now, I have to practice patience, positive self-talk/positive thinking. I speak, think, and envision positive things in my life constantly.


Anxiety
I get so anxious, my body literally shakes.
It feels like i'm was sitting on top of ice, inside of a freezer.  That’s how intense my body will shake when i'm really anxious. I hated going out, going to parties, being around huge crowds because…anxiety. I hated getting anxious while out because then the “anxiety shakes” would come. It started out small and i never really got a grasp on it, so it spiraled.

Whenever i get the “shakes” now, I honor it as a build up of energy that needs to be released. I have found deep breathing to help calm them a lot faster. I like to crack my neck and break up the tension (energy). My heart rate usually starts to slow first, if i focus on my breathing hard enough, i’ll lose the shakes and not even realize it. If you’re in a safe place to do yoga… stretching always helps to break up my tension and almost instantly stops my shaking. Turn on music and distract yourself from your thoughts. Speak positive things out loud. If you're around someone yourtrust, say how your feeling nonchalantly. Just honor them. Allow someone to ease your mind if possible. 

 

Self Knowledge 
(self-knowl·edge) – understanding of oneself or one’s own motives or character.

The key to kicking these habits was having knowledge of self. What are my flaws and my personal demons. I'll admit again, I was one of the most anxious, pessimistic, loud mouths ever. I have grown so much. A lot of people fear to be like their parents. Who doesn’t cringe at their negative traits from their parents? it’s inevitable! especially when that’s what you grew up watching and mimicking your whole life. but have no fear, you can change!

when you can be real enough to acknowledge your downfalls, then you can begin to transform your life. fix the interior by fixing your heart and how you think. my mind was my biggest demon. Become one with your mind. Be besties with the brain. Talk back! Alot of our brains at this point are just programmed to think negative.

Diet isn’t only through food! It’s your world, It’s what you allow in your space, your music, your thoughts, your friends, your tv shows, your workplace, your heart, your peace, your timeline.  Love for yourself enough to know who and what to allow in your space. Protect your peace at all cost.

 

healing crystals that promote self love, awareness & positive thinking.

  • rose quartz (self love, ease emotional pain, heart healing, compassion)
  • lapis lazuli ( spiritual awareness, knowledge of self, inner truth & balances the mind body and spirit)
  • aquamarine (cleanses the mind of chaos & evoke peace & harmony.
  • moonstone (the stone of new beginnings)
  • black obsidian or tourmaline (cleansing, absorbing and protecting the mind body & aura of negative influences, thoughts, energies)

Are you practicing self-love daily?

Share your favorite self-love tasks below.
What do you do when you're feeling down or depressed? How do you get yourself out of that space. Please feel free to comment & start a dialogue. Someone might need to see what you have to say.

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